Gowanus Your Face Off
Gowanus, Brooklyn
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Last Minute V-day Ideas

If you are like us, you had no clue that Tuesday is Valentines Day, which means, like us, you’re screwed!

Okay, you not so screwed, you still have time to sneak around this weekend and pick up something or find something special to do. But what the hell could that be? You need to figure out something that says: “hey, I totally care about you… and here’s something that represents exactly how much.” This holiday totally makes us nervous, but luckily we pulled the old bait and switch on our special someone and said we needed to know what they wanted for an article on this site. (Ha! We are like totally evil geniuses!)

Anyway… here is what our special someone said that they would want and what you could totally get your special someone.

Alcohol Themed Gift Box

Nothing says “I luv you” more than booze! But don’t just settle for a bottle of the cheap stuff, try mixing alcohol with food. It’s classier. Think about it… because of this box you can avoid paying for a a night out of food and drinks. It’s like totally all in one gift box! Heres’ how your night goes: Get this gift box, leave your job early, and catch your special someone just as they are finishing their day at their job. Make sure you make yourself know when you arrive at their job, so that everyone can see you be so freaking sweet when you whip out this beautiful gift box. Next give your special someone the box while saying the phrase: “something special for someone who’s special” or other Halmark card sounding words. Then after the oohin’ and ahhing’ subsides suggest that you go home and try the box together, while watching reruns of Downton Abbey (psst season ones on Netflicks). You’ll be asleep on the coach like usual within 15 minutes of getting home, but somehow you’ll have sweet credits to use later.

Box includes: Whiskey Sour Pickles, Whiskey Barrel Aged Sauerkraut, Blueberry Bourbon Jam, Beer and Pretzel Caramels, and Cask Aged Bourbon Chocolate Bar
Get it at: By Brooklyn

Tickets to a Rock Show

Nothing says “I planned ahead for this holiday” like grabbing last minute tickets to rock show where you can hold that special someone all night. And really nothing can be more special than listening to the melodramatic music of your youth at the Unloveable: A Smiths & Morrissey Valenties Day show. The Smiths and Morrissey embody the pure romantic (ridiculous) side of your special someone. They will go crazy when songs like How Soon Is Now and Tomorrow get sung by legendary Smiths & Morrissey tribute ban The Sons & Heirs. But wait, maybe you didn’t listen to Morrissey or the Smiths when you were younger? It’s okay, your evening will go like this: first before Tuesday look up these two bands on YouTube and study the chorus of the most popular tunes. Then at the show belt out these chorus’ ever so often and then mumbler the rest of the verses. It’s totally believable cause that’s what Morrissey did/does when he sang his songs. (Forgive us Steven, we don’t really mean it!) After a round of two or three drinks and when a slow song comes on, sprinkle a little liquid under your right eye for a tear drop effect. Next look into your special someones eyes and say “Are you having a great time?”, like you don’t even realize you’re crying. (Brilliant, we know!) Your special someone will most likely kiss you, so be ready. You’re pretty much set for at least a year after this, plus if you can fake joking up like your really emotional, you might even get to go home early.

Show info: 8pm - Unloveable: A Smiths & Morrissey Valentines Day featuring The Sons & Heirs; Plus a special pre-party with DJ Ceremony
Where: Bell House 149 7th St  Brooklyn, NY 11215

Helping Your Single Friends

If you’re not the romantic type then trying to do a traditional evening out for V-Day will go badly for you. So, you should probably bring along your friends, so your special someone doesn’t notices how soul-less you are. Normally this would be a bad idea, but suggesting to your special someone that you feel sorry for your single friends and that maybe it’d be good to hang out with them so they don’t drink their way into sadness, will get you über points. But you can’t just go to the pub with your buddies like you do every Tuesday night. You should grab your well-behaved friends * your special someone and make them go to the The Rejection Show Valentine’s Day Heartbreak Haven at Littlefield. Here’s how your night goes: You watch a whole host of funny comedians tell funny jokes about how badly their past relationships have been, with a room full of single people eager to make out with anything that moves. Someone will inevitably hit on your special someone because they are way hotter than you. You pretend to be not jealous and only keep people away if they go to french your special someone. When the comedians get everyone relaxed and the single people are starting to roll into one big pile, head home. You special someone will have had a few giggles laughing at stories about relationship worse than yours and feel special cause someone reminded them they were “hot”. You might even gets some nookie when you get home too! As for your friend, well, lets hope they aren’t sitting at the bar alone at the end of the night like usual. But who really cares anyway… you might get some luvin’, so they don’t really matter.

Show info: 8pm - The Rejection Show Valentine’s Day Heartbreak Haven with Lizz Winstead, Dave Hill: The One Man Heat-Bringing Machine, Sara Benincasa, Mandy Stadtmiller, Eliot Glazer, Elna Baker, Adam Wade, Katina Corrao, Ted Travelstead, Tom Shillue, Jordan Carlos, Bridey Elliott, Giulia Rozzi, Liam McEneaney, Blaise Kearsley, The Defibulators, Colleen AF Venable, and pie by the slice by Daly Pie!
Where: Littlefield 622 Degraw Street, Brooklyn, NY 11217 |


Oh, and with any of the things listed above, remember to smile and not look like this day is the only hope for saving or keeping your relationship alive… although it is.


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